Freer Today stems from the gaps in the system experienced by our founder after her children disclosed that their father had been abusing them. Upon disclosure, Vanessa realized the many ways in which her husband had manipulated their family dynamics, and leveraged psychological and emotional abuse, to keep her in the dark about the many ways in which he was hurting the children behind her back. As she sat in front of the family home waiting for law enforcement to complete the search warrant the night of the disclosure, she vowed to protect her children at all costs, but also determined that she would take the high ground:

• She would not hate him. Hate requires energy, and he was not worth the energy she would need for her children.
• She would not wish him harm. She prayed only for him to face every natural consequence for his choices.
• Any action she took against him would be based on protecting herself and the children. She would give him no ammunition.
• Her and the children’s revenge would be to erase his influence and live a life well lived.

During a family therapy session early in the process, one of the children was asked if they felt free now that the abuse had ended. They responded that they were Freer Today, but that they felt they were still trapped in their own mind by their trauma. The phrase stuck with Vanessa, who had already been thinking about advocating for change, and became a battle cry: to end every day honestly saying she was Freer Today.

The earliest version of this website was launched within hours of the verdict: guilty of all counts. And yet the family still wasn’t free from his influence, the divorce was still pending and custody was not settled. Thankfully, after almost 2 years of support from a variety of resources targeted for child victims, and the trial now behind them, the children have mostly recovered from their multi-year ordeal. Recognizing that her privilege in having the financial and knowledge resources to successfully fight for her family, Freer Today was founded to tackle the variety of hurdles Vanessa encountered in the first 18 months after disclosure which were a direct result of the abusers actions:

• Delays in the Divorce proceedings
• Costly relocations
• Difficulty getting credit due to the frequent moves
• Foreclosure due to his refusal to sell the vacant family home
• Destroyed credit
• Being forced to keep him on the family Health Insurance plan
• HIPPA violations
• Challenged custody
• Challenges with accessing Mental Health support
• Lost work

The divorce trial is scheduled just a few days past the 2nd Anniversary of disclosure. Two years of unnecessary trauma and suffering for a struggling caregiver, on top of the most brutal of betrayals and helping her children recover. The children’s healing started when their trauma ended with the disclosure. Her trauma continues until all his power over their lives is removed. Vanessa recognized that this traumatization of caregivers who stand up is why so many choose not to believe their kids, she recognized that more must be done to reduce the already heavy burden of supporting children through trauma recovery. Vanessa is Freer Today than when he was physically in her life, but she looks forward to saying she is Freer Today with the divorce behind her.